My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
