I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
