u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
