oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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