I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
