i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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