You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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