if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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