dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
