so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The air was thick with penises
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
