Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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