I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
