I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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