we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
