So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
