dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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