Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
