God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
