I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
