You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize