Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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