singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
