is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
