Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
