there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
