4 words: hood of his car
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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