mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
