Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
