I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
