You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
