do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
someone owes me an orgasm
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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