Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize