I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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