It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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