Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
