we made out on top of his cat.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
