wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
