every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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