it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize