I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
