There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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