this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize