guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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