So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize