We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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