Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
