I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
