Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
