go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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