Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
