Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
