I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
