I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
