The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
