Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
