Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
