im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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