Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
