First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize