4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
