You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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