We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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